Strict....To Be Or Not To Be...That Is The Question
The Boy above, announced to me, last Saturday morning, that I am just too strict! Here is a little history. The Boy is a very responsible young man and hates nothing more than to see his Dear Mother upset. Shame on me, right?? for allowing him to see me in many different emotional states. Anyway, something happened to the dear boy, the day he turned 15. He is, as The Farmer says, trying to "spread his wings" a little. The Farmer is a very calm peaceful man. He is the picture of stability. He never gets mad. He rarely raises his voice, basically there isn't much that upsets him (just more reasons why I love the man). His wife, on the other hand, can be a little too passionate about life sometimes. Back to The Boy....so he doesn't think the Dear Mother needs to know his every move anymore, and it bugs him if I even ask. So I calmly explained to this boy of mine, that for safety reasons I must know everything he does and where he is at every waking moment of the day. That is a good reason right?? And The Boy is not happy...he tells me I am just too strict. And then I shed tears on The Farmer's shoulder and tell him that our "little boy" no longer needs me like he once did, and it is breaking my heart. Oh that Farmer....he promised me that everything will be just fine and if I allow The Boy to "stretch" a little, he will not feel the need to "over stretch."
This is the word that comes to mind....This is actually The Boy's shirt. I am trying to find balance in this new experience. And how do I do that? I feel the need to hold tight, but ask myself, is it for me I hold on or is it for him. And I guess it is for both of us. He isn't ready to make his way alone...and truthfully he knows that. He is just testing himself as well as me.
And so, for the moment, he remains under my watchful eye...maybe a little too watchful, at least to him. And I search for balance...
The Boy above, announced to me, last Saturday morning, that I am just too strict! Here is a little history. The Boy is a very responsible young man and hates nothing more than to see his Dear Mother upset. Shame on me, right?? for allowing him to see me in many different emotional states. Anyway, something happened to the dear boy, the day he turned 15. He is, as The Farmer says, trying to "spread his wings" a little. The Farmer is a very calm peaceful man. He is the picture of stability. He never gets mad. He rarely raises his voice, basically there isn't much that upsets him (just more reasons why I love the man). His wife, on the other hand, can be a little too passionate about life sometimes. Back to The Boy....so he doesn't think the Dear Mother needs to know his every move anymore, and it bugs him if I even ask. So I calmly explained to this boy of mine, that for safety reasons I must know everything he does and where he is at every waking moment of the day. That is a good reason right?? And The Boy is not happy...he tells me I am just too strict. And then I shed tears on The Farmer's shoulder and tell him that our "little boy" no longer needs me like he once did, and it is breaking my heart. Oh that Farmer....he promised me that everything will be just fine and if I allow The Boy to "stretch" a little, he will not feel the need to "over stretch."
This is the word that comes to mind....This is actually The Boy's shirt. I am trying to find balance in this new experience. And how do I do that? I feel the need to hold tight, but ask myself, is it for me I hold on or is it for him. And I guess it is for both of us. He isn't ready to make his way alone...and truthfully he knows that. He is just testing himself as well as me.
And so, for the moment, he remains under my watchful eye...maybe a little too watchful, at least to him. And I search for balance... 
9 comments :
Oh sister. I feel for you and the boy BOTH. I definately know where he is coming from...I wasn't there too long ago (wait, maybe I'm still there)... but, I can see why you are concerned. The good news is that you have raised him well, and he will be fine. NO DOUBT ABOUT IT! From hearing some of the stories you've told me, it sounds like you definately went through your "breaking loose" phase. You should be able to relate to the poor buddy! Just be thankful that he isn't at the DISCOTECA or at Alice Cooperstown! Just playing. Love you!
I know EXACTLY how you are feeling, and it's the same with child #6 as it was with #1. But they will find out, no matter what they do you WILL find out. Sooner or later. Some time they will learn that the earlier is usually better than the later. Your "boy" is a good boy. He'll be fine. And so will you. :) You can cry on my shoulder too, if you need.
someday your daughter in law will thank you- for allowing your son "to see [you] in many different emotional states-" and giving him a greater understanding of (or at least experience with) the female psyche! good luck with this. yikes. teenagers.
also. great pic of jord!
To be or not to be?! Jan definitely thinks...to be!:) Maybe I'll let up a little when my boy is 15, but I don't think so! Nothing wrong with knowing where they are at all times! Love ya!
When I blog this same question 2 years from now you let me know what the best answer is!:)
sounds like you are doing a wonderful job. also sounds like he's earned your trust, so i'd say give it to him. after all, i've learned for myself, you can't control the world.
the most important thing is that he know you love him and that you are always there.
keep up the good work.
Jord is such a good boy, and he has had some real "learning experiences" lately. As hard as they have been, they were'nt for naught. Jordan will be fine and make choices from a place of maturity that most boys his age don't have. And this due to the experience of those wonderful, difficult, tear-jerking opportunities to grow which he has had as of late.
Oh it's so hard to let those apron strings go! Been there done that, got that t-shirt! I worry so much about my boys and have asked them over and over to let me know where they are. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't! So, they all have cell phones and I can text them anytime I want to know where they are...and they better answer...or else! LOL
Hang it there! It gets better!
Watch him like a hawk! There is no substitute for strictness. Think of all the trouble I got into over the years, if mom had only been watching me a little more closely:)
Still the oldest usually gets more scrutiny while the middle child's mischief often goes unnoticed.
Buena Suerte!
Ben
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